From bedtime routines interrupted by YouTube videos to classroom attention diverted by WhatsApp chats among classmates, mobile devices and social media are profoundly influencing childhood. To understand the psychological impact of this digital immersion, we spoke with Dr Cheung Hoi Shan, a child psychologist who works closely with families and educators to understand children’s behaviours. With warmth and candour, she shares her insights on what’s happening to our children — and how we might begin to respond.
Too much too soon?
The World Health Organization’s 24-hour movement guidelines recommend limiting screen time to no more than one hour per day for children aged 2 to 5. However, studies across Southeast Asia suggest that most children exceed this limit.
Photo: Unsplash / Pan Xiaozhen
DR CHEUNG HOI
Dr Cheung Hoi Shan is an Assistant Professor at the National Institute of Education, Nanyang Technological University. A developmental psychologist by training, her research aims to inform culturally grounded approaches to parenting, education, and child adjustment in contemporary society.
To what extent are mobile devices and social media affecting the development of confidence, creativity, and self-regulation in young children?
We’re definitely seeing some very real shifts. One of the biggest concerns is that children today are losing out on face-to-face interaction. Mobile devices offer an easy escape — if a child is bored or uncomfortable in a group setting, it’s so tempting to retreat into a screen. That means they miss chances to navigate things like boredom, conflict, and turn-taking, which are all crucial for developing social skills and emotional resilience.
Preschool teachers have told me they’re noticing more children who struggle with conflict resolution — children who lack the skills in negotiating with their peers or engage in give-and-take. And that’s not just a post-pandemic issue; it seems tied to the way digital devices are now constantly available.
This is very much an issue of opportunity cost. When children spend hours passively swiping or watching videos, that’s time not spent in imaginative play — building with blocks, role-playing, inventing games. These activities are how children learn to problem-solve, express themselves, and regulate their emotions. Screens offer fast, predictable rewards, but they don’t teach the value of delayed gratification or self-discipline, which are core skills in regulating impulses. These are essential concepts cultivated through play and real-world challenges in children’s upbringing.
And finally, I worry about how digital life is eroding healthy social scripts. Real-life experiences teach us how to behave in public, how to read body language, how to test and set boundaries. All of us carry mental scripts learned from our experiences with people about handling various social situations, such as how to order food from a waiter in a restaurant or interact with colleagues at work. A screen doesn’t provide the social experiences needed to build those scripts. On top of that, children may be over-exposed to curated content on social media — perfect holidays, polished selfies, luxury lifestyles — which can lead to unrealistic comparisons and lower self-esteem.
Real-life experiences teach us how to behave in public, how to read body language, how to test and set boundaries. All of us carry mental scripts learned from our experiences with people about handling various social situations.
What counts as play in the screen age
A 2024 Suncare SG survey finds that while nine in ten parents of children aged 3 to 6 in Singapore value non-screen play, more than half also view screen time as an integral part of their children's playtime. Many allow one to two hours of device use during weekends, reflecting evolving definitions of play in a digital world.
Photo: Shutterstock / suriyachan
Given these developmental concerns, how is excessive screen time — by both children and parents — affecting parenting as a whole in today’s society?
I think we need to acknowledge that for many families, screens became a lifeline during the COVID-19 pandemic. Parents were juggling work, stress, caregiving — all under one roof. It was incredibly hard, and screens became a convenient way to keep children occupied. The problem is, those habits have stuck, and some parents have simply forgotten how else to keep their children engaged.
Many parents now tell me they feel guilty but helpless. They often say, “I know it’s not ideal, but what else can I do?” and this mindset can really get in the way of exploring alternatives.
Also, we cannot overlook the importance of modelling. Children imitate what they see. If a parent is constantly on their phone, the child will perceive this as normal. Research consistently shows that higher parental screen time correlates with increased child screen time. It’s not just what we allow — it’s about what we do.
Even the mere presence of devices can change things. When a phone is within reach, it becomes the default choice — for managing a tantrum, passing time, or even filling in silences. Over time, that reliance chips away at opportunities for connection, conversation, and play. It’s subtle, but powerful.
From tiger moms to gentle parents
Many Southeast Asian parents raised with authoritarian discipline are now embracing gentle parenting, but not without internal friction. A recent study found over one-third of self-identified gentle parents struggle with intense self-critique and reduced confidence.
Photo: Unsplash / Frank Ching
Without consistent limits at home, children are not able to rely on internal boundaries they’ll need to navigate screens responsibly later on.
Asian parents are known for having a distinctive parenting style. How do cultural norms in Asia, especially in Singapore, influence how parents approach screen time and how children are affected as a result? Are there unique challenges involved?
In many ways, the digital challenges are surprisingly similar across cultures. A meta-analysis that my collaborators and I have recently conducted shows a clear impact of cyberbullying on Asian youths’ depression and anxiety, which is a similar trend that we see in the West. These issues do transcend cultural boundaries, considering the high internet penetration rate in many Asian societies.
That said, there are local nuances. In Singapore and much of Asia, we’re seeing a rise in what’s called “gentle” or respectful parenting — an approach that emphasises empathy, non-punitive discipline, and emotional connection. At the same time, parents often grapple with setting boundaries — they want to be warm and respectful, but they’re unsure how to maintain authority, especially when their child pushes back.
Another challenge is peer pressure. Children will say, “Everyone else has a phone,” and often they’re right. That can make it incredibly difficult for parents to hold the line. No parent wants their child to be left out. But without consistent limits at home, children are not able to rely on internal boundaries they’ll need to navigate screens responsibly later on.
An empowering framework for growing well
A national initiative in Singapore, Grow Well SG, was launched in 2025 to provide evidence-based guidance and tools that support families in building healthy habits in the digital age. It promotes purposeful screen use, balanced routines, stronger family relationships, and includes personalised health plans with updated screen time recommendations.
Photo: Unsplash / Getty Images
In your opinion, and based on your experience as a parent, what are some practical strategies that work well for managing screen time without sacrificing emotional warmth or authoritative control?
I usually talk about two main approaches: restrictive mediation and active mediation.
For younger children in the pre-adolescence stage, restrictive mediation is really important. That means setting clear, firm boundaries: no YouTube, only two hours a day, screens off by 8 pm, that kind of thing. At this age, children actually feel safer with predictable routines and a clear structure. When the rules are consistent, tantrums decrease, because the children learn that these rules are non-negotiable.
As children grow into adolescence — from age 12 or so onwards — it’s time to gradually shift into active mediation. That involves engaging them in conversations about best practices on the internet that will keep them safe. Explain why certain boundaries exist, and the dangers of disclosing too much information about themselves online. Discuss with the children the sites they are visiting, and how those experiences make them feel. Work together to negotiate sensible expectations. Importantly, such conversations serve to let children know that parents can continue to be depended on as a good source of support should they encounter issues online, such as in the case of cyberbullying.
This isn’t just about control — it’s about trust. When children feel heard, they are more likely to internalise values and make good decisions on their own. And all of this works best if there’s a strong foundation of a secure attachment that the child feels toward the parent or a caregiver. When a child grows up feeling loved and supported, they are much more likely to see boundaries as protective rather than punitive.
Unlike playground teasing, which stops when the school bell rings, hurtful messages online can be forwarded, screenshot, and viewed again and again.
We often hear about cyberbullying and the social pressure children face online. How does early screen exposure affect children’s ability to build real-world friendships or handle peer conflicts?
This is an area where we need to be especially vigilant. Children who spend a lot of time online may struggle to read social cues, navigate disagreements, or handle rejection in real life.
Cyberbullying, in particular, has distinct harms. Unlike playground teasing, which stops when the school bell rings, hurtful messages online can be forwarded, screenshot, and viewed again and again. Children rely on social media for interaction, but such platforms can be a source of pain when they are victims of cyberbullying, making them feel trapped. We observe links between cyberbullying and reactive aggression, anxiety, depression, and even school refusal.
When children feel unsafe online, they may start avoiding social interactions. To some parents, this can appear as “good behaviour”— the child stays home, reads quietly, and doesn’t complain. But beneath the surface, there could be serious social anxiety or trauma.
The worrying part is that the line between online and offline is blurry for children. What happens in a WhatsApp chat or other online exchanges extends beyond cyberspace. It shapes how young people feel about themselves and how they interact with others in the real world.
The silence around cyberbullying
Many young cyberbullying victims choose to remain silent. Studies highlight a common tendency to ignore or internalise harm rather than seek help. Cultural norms around shame, emotional restraint, and conflict avoidance often discourage open reporting, leaving many to cope alone without adult intervention or peer support.
Illustration: iStock / DrAfter123
Besides the social withdrawal behaviour you mentioned earlier, what other early signs should parents or educators watch for that might indicate a child’s screen use is becoming unhealthy?
Some of the signs are subtle, while others are more obvious. One common red flag is aggression. If a child becomes easily frustrated or lashes out physically — say, pushing another child on the playground or snapping over small things — that may point to poor emotion regulation, which is often linked to excessive screen exposure.
Another one I’d flag is school refusal. If a child starts resisting going to school, it’s worth digging deeper. It could be anxiety, bullying, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the digital overload that has seeped into school life through WhatsApp groups, gaming chats, or social media.
Again, withdrawal can also be a warning sign. A child who prefers to be alone, consistently chooses screen time over social play, and rarely engages with others might appear “well-behaved” on the surface — but that could hide loneliness, anxiety, or difficulty socialising with peers.
The key is to remain curious. Don’t assume that silence means everything is fine. Watch for changes in behaviour, mood, and interaction — and don’t hesitate to ask questions gently and without passing judgment.
Parents and their children are part of the wider society, where excessive screen time and obsession with social media have become social challenges. From a public policy perspective, what measures should governments take to support parents and educators in managing screen time among children?
First, we need clear, evidence-based guidelines. Parents seek guidance, and actionable recommendations — such as daily screen time limits — which can be a helpful starting point. However, these shouldn’t be fear-based or guilt-inducing. They should come with supportive messaging that explains the “why,” not just the “what.” Supporting parents in this journey, rather than penalising them, is important.
Second, public awareness campaigns are key. We need to talk more openly about the developmental trade-offs of excessive screen use. This involves reaching not just parents but also educators, caregivers, and even children themselves. It is interesting to note that the child’s perspective is often lacking in advocacy efforts on issues that directly concern them.
Third, platform accountability. Policymakers should consider making it mandatory for platform providers to include features such as default time-outs for minors or screen-time nudges built into apps. Hardware and platform providers should also be required to offer more user-friendly parental control and monitoring features with their products in exchange for market access. These should not replace parental responsibility, but they can help support parents in structuring their child’s screen use and cultivating good habits.
Finally, I’d love to see parent engagement programmes rolled out through schools. Empower parents with tools, workshops, and peer networks so they don’t feel like they are struggling alone. This needs to be a collective effort, not a blame game.
When home and school are on the same page, children are far more likely to thrive because they receive a consistent message across the school and home contexts.
Most children spend a significant amount of their time at school, and many bring their mobile phones with them. Furthermore, children in secondary schools in Singapore learn and complete much of their homework on their notebook computers, or personal learning devices (PLDs), issued by the Ministry of Education. Considering such increased access to digital devices by young children, what role should schools play in managing children’s screen time and digital habits?
Schools have a huge part to play. They’re on the frontlines of children’s digital lives, whether we like it or not.
First, there’s the device policy itself. Some schools have put in place a “handphone hotel”, where the students’ mobile phones are kept locked away in the school’s general office until the end of the school day. Others allow limited, supervised use of interactive apps for learning. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but what’s important is that schools are deliberate and consistent in limiting screen time as much as possible.
Continuity of care is also important — especially during transitions. If a preschool child is identified as having issues with screen dependency or social withdrawal, that information may be carried through to primary school, if necessary, so that early support can continue to be rendered.
Finally, schools should work closely with parents to align expectations. Hosting parent workshops on screen time, social media, and emotional development can go a long way in building a united front. When home and school are on the same page, children are far more likely to thrive because they receive a consistent message across the school and home contexts.
TikTok’s teen time limit: Does it work?
In 2023, TikTok became the first major social media app to impose default daily screen-time limits for users under 18. Internal tests showed a 234% increase in the use of screen-time tools, but external investigations in 2024 found the actual time spent on the app dropped by only about one minute on average.
Photo: Shutterstock / mentatdgt
Young children are easily attracted to the instant gratification, sensory stimulation, and intuitive interactions provided by the audiovisual interfaces on their digital devices. Are there particular offline activities or parenting strategies that can effectively rival the appeal of screens?
Yes — and the good news is, many of them are simple, accessible, and even enjoyable for parents, too.
Outdoor time is one of the most effective remedies for excessive screen use. Parks, cycling, nature walks — even in a dense urban place like Singapore — there are wonderful green corridors and community spaces where children can explore, move, and unwind. Movement is incredibly important for emotion regulation and sensory integration.
Helping children cultivate a hobby in the arts, sports, or music can also help, as they offer structured engagement that builds focus, discipline, and confidence. These activities create a sense of progress and mastery — something that passive screen use rarely provides.
And finally, family-based routines are hugely underrated. Simple activities like cooking a meal together, playing a board game, or having device-free meal times give children the social scripts they need for real-life interactions. These moments build secure child-parent attachment, communication skills, and emotional resilience. It’s not about being “screen-free”— it’s about being “screen-wise.”
Nature’s fix for digital overload
A University of Michigan study found that community programmes to reduce children’s screen time are more effective in neighbourhoods with accessible green spaces. Where parks and safe outdoor areas are lacking, results are weaker. Researchers say equitable investment in green space is vital to support healthy screen-use habits in children.
Photo: Unsplash / Getty Images
Despite all the concerns, are there any positive trends or practices you’ve seen that give you hope?
Absolutely. I think it’s important to remember that this generation of parents is more informed, reflective, and engaged than ever before. Many are actively trying to break cycles, parent with empathy, and be deliberate about their children’s digital habits.
One practice I find especially promising is early mediation. Studies show that children who grow up with structured, age-appropriate screen time rules — starting in early childhood — tend to require fewer restrictions later on. They are more likely to internalise healthy habits and transition smoothly into responsible digital citizenship as teenagers.
I’ve also seen the power of secure attachment scripts. When children grow up in environments where they feel genuinely seen, safe, and loved, they become much more receptive to parental guidance. They realise that rules aren’t punishments — they are care in action.
And finally, I think we’re starting to see more thoughtful, collaborative use of technology. In classrooms, when teachers use digital tools for interactive learning — not passive viewing — it’s remarkable what children can achieve. Within families, activities like video calls with relatives or co-watching documentaries can turn screens into bridges rather than barriers.
So yes, I’m hopeful. The challenge is big, but so is the potential. By combining awareness, boundaries, empathy, and support, we can raise a generation of children who not only survive the digital age but thrive in it.
Your relationship with your child will always matter more than any rule or app. When that relationship is strong, everything else becomes easier to navigate.
If you could leave parents with one takeaway, what would it be?
Don’t aim for perfection — aim for connection. It’s not about removing screens or always getting it right. It’s about staying present, asking questions, being curious, and modelling the balance you hope to see in your child.
Your relationship with your child will always matter more than any rule or app. When that relationship is strong, everything else becomes easier to navigate. ∞
AUGUST 2025 | ISSUE 14
SCREENS BETWEEN US
